YouthHope Foundation | PO Box 7803 Redlands, CA 92375 US
2022 Stories
$7 Is All I Had
I’m a hard worker. I have a job that I’m good at. I show up on time and do well. I work hard for my son. He is my driving force behind getting up every morning and doing my best.
My job doesn’t pay the best but it covers rent and pays my bills for now. I mean we’re struggling, but isn't everybody?
I wasn’t prepared for unexpected circumstances because I was so focused on making it day to day. But then the unexpected happened. I had to have emergency surgery which meant I had to take time off of work.
After I healed from my surgery, I headed to the grocery store to restock. As I start checking out, I realize I need to check my bank account to make sure I have enough. I open my bank app and see that I only have $7.
My body froze and I started crying. I embarrassingly told the cashier that I can’t buy these and left.
I searched online for help because we had no food and I had to feed my boy. I found YouthHope and called them to see if they could help.
I drove down to their Drop-in Center where they gave me 3 boxes of food. Every type of food including dairy and meat. I was overwhelmed. This would last me a few weeks until I could get back to work.
I know I wont always need YouthHope to help me, but I am so glad they are here to help when I needed them. They are a life raft when I was drowning. I’m so thankful for their unconditional love and help.
I Asked and They Helped
It’s a war zone at my house. Ever since I was born, I haven't found peace. Between my parents fighting all the time, my dad always fighting with my brother, me getting yelled at, my childhood is anything but peaceful.
A few years ago, I was fighting with my mom. It was over stupid stuff, but at the time it felt very important. My dad came in to see what we were yelling about and he starting fighting with my mom as well. Me and my dad left the room to calm down, and 5 min later we hear a gun shot from my moms room. My dad and I both looked at each other and ran in her room to see my mom dead. I was only 15 when this happened. It was 2 years ago.
I still have nightmares all the time about it. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since that day. Not just sad feelings, but the feelings that I need to die. The past 6 months have been really bad. Suicidal attempts, depression, yelling, no hope.
My dad reached out to YouthHope to ask for help since we’ve known Heidi for years. She immediately made some phone calls and 20 minutes later, I have a crisis counselor that I am now seeing.. I know I’m not out of the woods yet, but this is the first tangible step that I have taken and I’m proud of myself.
I’m so thankful that the people at YouthHope listened and responded immediately. I’m also so thankful for the counseling center that got me into their system right away. YouthHope is family and I’m so glad I can rely on them!
There's A Place For Me At YouthHope
I’m not the typical kid that goes to YouthHope. I’m not homeless. I’m not addicted to drugs or alcohol. I get A’s in school and I have a mom that loves me.
What brought me to YouthHope was kindness and acceptance. I used to attend public school. I went all the way up to 8th grade and then I had to leave. I was teased relentlessly every day by other students because of the way that I talked.
At first, my mom would tell me to ignore them. So I would try to find friends that cared for me, but it always ended in being bullied because of my speech. After years of torment and bullying, I finally asked my mom to pull me out of school and to homeschool me. She agreed and it was a sigh of relief.
The only problem is that she works during the day and I’m home alone for hours on end. That’s when I found YouthHope. They let me come in and stay for hours. I do my homework there, get lunch and dinner, hang out with the Case Managers, and play basketball.
I attend the Skills Class where I can learn how to deal with bullies and how to make real, authentic friendships. Without YouthHope, I would be very lonely. Yes I’m not getting bullied anymore, but being home all day isn't healthy either.
I now have a safe place to go where people love and care about me and don’t make fun of me. Thank you YouthHope for being there for me and for loving me!
A Walk in Their Shoes Saved Me
You might remember me at the Walk in Their Shoes Dinner. I was the one who spoke about YouthHope. My voice was shaky. I wasn’t nervous to speak at the event. I wanted everyone to know about YouthHope and how its helped me and changed me.
My voice was shaky because 2 hours before the event I was in a different space. I was in my house with my mom yelling at me. She was telling me what a loser I was and how I would never amount to anything. I was hiding in my room packing a backpack because I was going to run away. I was going to live on the streets with my boyfriend.
But then I remembered. I remembered that I promised Heidi that I would help her at the big event. As I was walking to the event, I started thinking about how I would live on the streets. I had a plan and right when I got done at the event, I would run away.
But something happened when I was standing in the room. I started hearing all of the things YouthHope had done and how they can help people. After we were done, I ended up telling one of the Case Managers what was happening and they ended up helping me that night to find a safe place to stay.
Every day since then, they’ve checked in on me and have made sure I’m safe and moving in the right direction. Crazy how life works out sometimes. I’m just glad I was at the event that night. Who knows where I would be if I didn't show up.
A Safe Haven. A monologue from our 2019 Walk in Their Shoes
As far as I can remember, my childhood was actually pretty good. I lived with my parents and my sister and by all accounts we were a happy family. Then my mom passed away when I was 13. My dad got a girlfriend who I didn’t really see eye to eye with. She was taking over the household setting rules telling my dad what a rotten kid I was. She desperately wanted me out of the house or in some kind of program so she would get my dads full attention My dad eventually chose this woman over his own son. He told me to move out because I was causing friction in his relationship. What a blow this was to me, the one person I thought I could count on turned his back on me.
I started couch surfing when I could and braved it on the streets when I had no options. After a couple of years, I heard about a place called YouthHope. I showed up at Heidi’s place and if I’m being honest, I was just there for some clothes and a free meal. For years I would pop in and out but I never really wanted to get involved.
Eventually, through the support I was getting at Youth Hope, I was able to get on my feet for a little bit. I was able to land a pretty decent job in Phoenix and I was glad to have a new chapter of my life to look forward to. A few months after my move to Phoenix, I got an unexpected call from one of the girls I had been with on the streets back in California. She told me she had a son, he was mine. I don’t know if it was just a rush of emotion or a true sense of parental duty, but I decided that I needed to come back to Cali and see what I could do to help my kid.
When I got back I started searching for them. But the problem is, if someone living on the streets doesn’t want to be found, it becomes nearly impossible to find them. I hit a wall. I had finally gotten on my feet in phoenix and I had thrown it all away to go on a wild goose chase.
My life spiraled out of control. I turned to drugs and alcohol. After a while I decided to end all the pain and confusion. I took a handful of pills and was going to OD on them.
I walked into Youth Hope. When I got there, I sat down and talked to Judy. As I was talking to her, I completely broke down. I told her about the search for my kid, my wild mood swings and my suicide attempt. For the first time, I was being real. Judy sat with me, listened for as long as I blabbered on and she cared. And the care was real. It wasn’t some plastered on smile and mindless nodding of her head, she was listening to me. I am still in the process of trying to track down my son. I still have bad days but I have found at least one place where I can be real and I know others will be real with me. YouthHope has become a bit of a safe haven for me.
A Little Help Goes A Long Way
My parents have never been able to really take care of me. They had me when they were older and they just didn't have the health or energy to take care of me. I’m an only child and for as long as I can remember, I’ve taken care of them.
I make them meals, clean the house, do the errands, pick up their meds, everything. I’ve been driving since I was 13 because my parents were unable to do so.
My mom passed away a few years ago. That’s when I really started to feel my mental health break. I’ve felt so much pressure all these years and seeing my mom die just made me crack.
I started having suicidal thoughts daily. Any time I experienced failure or sadness or frustration, I thought suicide.
I would openly talk about it hoping that someone would help me.
I started going to YouthHope and immediately opened up to Heidi. She took my concerns seriously and got me into counseling the next week. There was no judgment and no questions. She just helped right away.
I’ve been going for about 6 months now and I can see huge progress in my mental health.
I am being taught how to redirect my thoughts, and how to deal with frustration and sadness in a healthier way.
I would of never known how to find a counselor or would have been able to afford one if it weren’t for YouthHope.
I am so thankful. I’m not sure I would be here today if it weren’t for YouthHope and the immediate help that they gave me.
A Glimmer of Hope
I don’t ever remember feeling safe. From a small age, I have always had fear. My dad has been molesting me and my sister for as long as I can remember. He’s a terrible man.
One day a few years ago in the middle of the night, my mom woke me and my siblings up and said that we had to go. We drove for hours and hours and ended up in California and have been here ever since. I didn't speak English and I don’t have the proper paperwork to be here. But I’m safe from my dad. I know he can’t get me.
I found out about YouthHope from school. They knew how behind I was and how our resources were limited. I walked in scared. My dad caused me to not trust anyone. Keep everyone at an arms length.
As I continued to show up to YouthHope, I started getting more comfortable. Everyone was so nice. No one was pushy. They gave me the space I needed, but reassured me that they were there for me.
It took me months, but I final got brave enough to share my story. I knew that I couldn't continue to live in fear and anxiety so I shared.
Heidi immediately asked me how YouthHope could help. She offered many resources and I decided that therapy was the best choice at the time.
They found me a therapist that specialized in trauma and I have been going for a few months now.
I feel like I can breathe a little easier now. I’m confident in myself, not as anxious, and am looking forward to the future.
YoutHope helped me find a glimmer of hope for the future. I may not know what is ahead, but I know that with the people around me, I can face whatever is in store.